1. Because CNN reminded me today that mentally challenged Americans over the age of eighteen can vote. You guys, I would put my knowledge of this campaign and the issues against that of any retarded American.
2. Because if I could just procure an “I Voted” sticker, I could totally get a free donut! I guess, as Kim suggested, I could just find some skinny bitch and ask for hers.
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As the last eight years have proven, not only can mentally challenged Americans vote, they can actually serve as president.
Even better than donuts — Ben & Jerry’s shops will be giving away free scoops to voters between 5:00 and 8:00 pm on Tuesday.
I’ll be working as a poll watcher ’til 8. No ice cream for me! Boo!
Ooh, haven’t you heard? It’s apparently illegal to give things to voters (or, voters only) so Starbucks and Krispy Kreme (and probably Ben & Jerry’s) are giving freebies to everyone who walks through the door. One caveat: you have to ask, they aren’t just going to offer it to you.
Sigh!!
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