Dave: How come you didn’t take the First Class upgrade? I doubt they offer them cheaper than that if you don’t have frequent flyer miles.
Tara: What?
Dave: Well, you got all dressed up because you were going to try to get an upgrade, and then the machine just offered it and you didn’t take it.
Tara: I asked if I should take it and you said no!
Dave: No, I said that I didn’t care, but that you should take it if you want.
Tara: But I did want to! It was so cheap!
Dave: You should have taken it, then.
Tara: I thought if you didn’t want to take it you’d just make me feel guilty about it!
Dave: I wouldn’t have.
Tara: Oh, sweet Jesus, what have I done?
******************
Tara: You know you’re going to have to turn around eventually, right?
Dave: Why?
Tara: This is the highway that deadends at that beach…P-something Beach.
Dave: Right, but I was going to drive by the King Kamehameha statue.
Tara: We already passed it.
Dave: We passed it?
Tara: It was in the town. Didn’t you hear me say “There it is”?
Dave: You really saw the statue?
Tara: What? Yes!
Dave: You saw it with your eyes?
Tara: It was on my side of the road. It was black and gold and there was a yellow lei around its neck and right hand.
Dave: Okay.
Tara: “Did you see it with your eyes.”
Dave: Well…
Tara: No, I saw a six-foot black and gold statue of Kamehameha with my heart.
******************
Dave: Okay, good night.
Tara: Good night.
Dave: Do you want the air conditioning on?
Tara: No, because you can only have it on for four hours, and then when it turns off in the middle of the night I’ll wake up because I’ll be hot.
Dave: But it’ll be cooler than just having the window open and the fan on.
Tara: Yes, it will, until it turns off after four hours, and then it’ll be stifling.
Dave: Do you want me to set my alarm and then get up after four hours to turn it back on?
Tara: Okay: yes. I want you to do that.
Dave: …
Tara: …
Dave: Let me rephrase the question.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, man. I once passed down a cheap first-class upgrade on my way to Hawaii, out of an ill-conceived sense of politeness toward my travel companion. That was nine years ago, and I still regret it.
A friend of mine got randomly upgraded to first because of overbooking, on a flight from Tokyo to New York a few years ago. I got to stay in coach squished between another friend and some random Japanese guy. We don’t talk anymore.
In my defense sometimes Tara takes the path of least resistance in our arguments so I thought she might have just said she saw it to get me to turn around. Or something.
All I know is I always look with my heart.
I’ve often wanted to work the name “Kamehameha” into more of my arguments. Thanks for the reminder.
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