I assume everyone’s already read about the NBC intern who literally (and apparently spectacularly) lost her shit all over 30 Rock earlier this summer, but in case you missed it, read it and cringe. Kim was asking me this morning whether I could offer any insight, as a former employee at 30 Rock, as to how such an event could occur. I would like to say right off the top that, in the year I worked there, I managed to control my bowels according to the tenets of the social contract, and so did everyone I worked with. But I can ALMOST see how it could go down. Security at 30 Rock — at least on the NBC-affiliated floors — is pretty high. We worked on the same floor as Saturday Night Live, and the nearest restroom was in the same hallway as the studio. Before the TWoP sale, when we’d come for meetings and stuff, our visitors’ badges didn’t admit us to the johns; we’d have to get an escort from an employee like we were in preschool. Not only that, but once you got in to that hallway to use the loo, you also needed a badge to get out again; the door locked on both sides. So if this girl’s badge hadn’t been set up to let her get to the bathroom (and yes, I realize that the story says that the bathroom door itself was locked, but I’m extrapolating based on my experience in the building), and she was in severe intestinal distress…yeah, that still doesn’t explain how the shit spray apparently spanned seven floors of the building. Or why she apparently needed to smear her leavings all over a storage room. Or why SHE WENT BACK THE NEXT DAY LIKE NOTHING HAD HAPPENED. I think if this had happened to me, I would have changed my name, left the state, and possibly gone back to school so that I could enter another line of work just in case anyone in my industry were ever able to identify me as “that girl who pooped.”
(And the follow-up about other embarrassing work stories was pretty good too.)




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After we got moved to the other floor (after you were gone, after I had quit but before my last day), we had the locked bathroom situation instead of the locked hallway. I had a physical bathroom key for the actual bathroom door. Can’t tell you how much I liked having to make sure I took my keys every time I went to the bathroom. Fortunately, I was there in my new office for like four days, listening to the skating-rink music. But at least not having the gym music pounding in my fucking ear all day long. Bygones!
PROOF POSITIVE that NBC is a shitty place to work.
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