As I mentioned in passing in my post about the boxes, my parents moved to Karachi, Pakistan this spring. My dad is a university registrar, and he was headhunted to come fill the same position at the Aga Khan University; they also headhunted my mom to come run HR for them. This big baby party my brother-in-law Derek’s parents are throwing tomorrow is the occasion that has brought my parents back to Canada for the first time since they moved. I knew that the flight back brought them from Karachi to Dubai, and then Dubai to Toronto (…I think; I believe they didn’t stop in London this time), and that they were flying in Business Class (of which I was already jealous) on Emirates Airlines — only the most luxurious airline in the world. Apparently Emirates Business Class is so fancy that the first time they went to Karachi for their interviews and had to take Air Canada Business Class on one leg after having been on Emirates for the first time in their lives on that trip, they were bitter. About Business Class! I’m psyched to get the exit row in Coach so I get an extra seven millimetres of leg room!
Anyway, they came over to the house after they got into town, and my dad started telling us about their flight. They like to get on the plane as early as possible so that they can get all situated (and because they fly Business Class, that is their right), and were already in their seats when a guy came up to them and said he thought they were in his and his wife’s. They compared boarding passes and learned that Emirates had accidentally sold these particular Business Class seats twice. They called over the flight attendant, a few minutes passed, and then she came back, called for my dad, and told him he’d been upgraded.
It’s at this point in the story that I think I shrieked, “OH HELL NO.”
But wait! My dad has to tell the flight attendant he isn’t alone; he’s with my mom, and she’s also in a double-booked seat.
SO THEY BOTH GET UPGRADED TO FIRST CLASS. ON EMIRATES!
“OH YOU SONS OF BITCHES,” I yell. At my parents! I mean, I think they took it in the petty, jealous spirit in which it was intended.
“Did you take A SHOWER?” I couldn’t help asking. No, they weren’t on one of the very newest planes. But based on their description, I think the photo at right represents what they did get to enjoy for fourteen hours: massively reclining seats, a privacy screen they could put up between them if they’d so chosen, giant TVs. The photo doesn’t show them getting their feet massaged by naked ladies, but I’m pretty sure that’s also part of the service.
And I will be lucky if I get a free beverage on my next flight. Clearly, I am in the wrong line of work. Or need to move to a part of the world where it might be assumed that I’m just the most special of Dave’s several wives and get treated accordingly.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
It’s the water charge that angries up my blood the most. I always felt it was a life-maintaining necessity on a flight where DVT builds up along with severe dehydration.
I wonder how much extra they’ll charge your family if you die on the flight. You know, for seat-cleaning.
Yeah, the pictures accurate but doesn’t do justice to the real size of the “suite”. Live right, fly right.
YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Stephanie: I actually am betting a charge for water will not last, for that very reason. People need to be able to drink water; it’s really dangerous to charge for it just because you can. One horrible incident will be all it will take for them to put water back on the free side. Just water, but water.
You also can’t drink the tap water in the bathroom because it’s been lousy with bacteria, so people really have no option except to get fresh water from the airline’s potable supply.
Linda: I really, really want to believe that is true but the fact that they were so stupid as to institute a price in the first place just gives me grave doubts.
However, you’re totally right that it’s going to take a tragedy or near-miss for them to revert.
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