It’s too soon to celebrate with any 1 AM “woo!”s in the front yard, but…it looks like at least some residents of Party House may be moving out. We heard from a neighbour that Flossie is back from abroad soon, so maybe that means the end of her awful, awful tenants. Plus Dave saw them making like fifty trips this morning from the house to a car, now parked out front and packed with their pitiful bindles of worthless student crap.
Of course, in advance of their (possible) departure, they threw a party last night. They wrapped it up at a reasonable(-ish) hour, but not reasonable enough for me, since I have a cold coming on and was tucked in pretty early. Fine, 11:30. I’m old! Anyway, after midnight, a couple of them decided that the best place to have a fairly loud and urgent-sounding conversation was at the foot of our front walk — and since the roofing project is at the point where our skylight is being replaced, the A/C is off and all the windows are open, plus the door out to our little balcony, and their inane discussion wafted right up to my phlegm-ridden head. So I got up to go give them shit. I stomped down in my pyjamas (don’t worry — they are dowdy enough to hide my shame, plus I put on a hoodie) and flung open our front door only to discover that in the time it took me to get down there, they’d moved even closer to where I was trying to sleep and now were practically sitting on our front step.
Me: Could you please –
Guy: Sorry.
Me: – SHUT UP?!
And then I slammed the door and felt righteous as well as congested. I wish I’d had the presence of mind to say something more along the lines of “Could you dickholes please go break up on someone else’s property?” Sadly, wit (yes, wit: I think the word “dickholes” first appears in Lady Windermere’s Fan) wasn’t able to triumph over weariness.
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I’d suggest that the departure from Party House of those miscreants be celebrated with… a party, but it somehow seems too much like a snappy comeback delivered too late for optimal effect.
Cletus, Brandine, and the rest of the Slack-Jawed Yokel clan that lives next door to us may be on their way out as well. I keep overhearing conversations (since they always speak loudly enough to be heard one house away) that make me hopeful. I’ll take the departure of the Party House residents as a good omen!
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