Can I just give two quick snaps up to MSNBC for this story advising parents on how to travel with children? Because SERIOUSLY. I know that flying with children is not a pleasure and I’m not one of those psychos who hears a six-month-old crying on a plane and starts bitching that his family should have taken the train. Kids are kids; they can’t always be controlled. But there is a certain kind of parents — certainly not represented among my brilliant and perfect friends who are parents — who get into a public space with their kids and decide it’s up to the community to keep an eye on them. And I’ve been on a flight where the attendant had to get on the speaker and announce, “We are ready to push back but we can’t move the plane as long as there are children standing in the aisle. YES YOU.” Like, it sucks to get kicked off a flight, like the family cited in the story, but on the other hand, if you know your kids get kind of hyper when they’re cooped up? Bring a selection of books and toys to distract them with. Pack some snacks so their mouths will be occupied at least some of the time. And if all else fails: little bit of NyQuil. CHILDREN’S NyQuil, if you must. And don’t assume it takes a village to get your kid across the country.
Oh my God, I just remembered something else I don’t think I blogged at the time: when we were flying from Kona to Los Angeles (about a six-hour flight), we left at around noon local time, had a stop-over in Honolulu, and got to Los Angeles…I forget what time we landed, but by the time we picked up our rental car and got to the hotel, it was 11 PM. And directly behind Dave and me were sitting two parents and their two kids under, I would say, five. The older one was old enough that when the plane was starting to push back, he kept loudly counting backwards, like we were about to blast off — which was cute, until the parent sitting with him went to try to do up his seatbelt and he started screeching. Irrespective of the fact that the child (I hope) gets buckled into more complicated straps whenever he gets into a car, if you’re old enough to be able to count backwards, aren’t you old enough to understand “Stop screaming in the plane”? AND, when we got off the plane in L.A., we overheard them telling someone that they were flying on from there to Boston. Sure, bring your kids on the red-eye. Great planning! I hope their next seatmates got that kid after his dose of Children’s NyQuil. Or possibly Grey Goose.
I suppose I am supposed to be more sympathetic to the challenges of parenthood now that I have a perfect niece who is perfect. But apparently not.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
We were once on a flight from Frankfort (Germany) to Chicago, during which a kid who was 4 or 5 (again, old enough to be instructed how to act) would periodically scream to annoy his older sibling. The parents did nothing. When the plane landed, the kid got out of his seat immediately, even though we were still taxiing and even though the flight attendants made numerous announcements saying everyone needed to stay seated. Finally, a male flight attendant who had clearly had enough ran down the aisle and practically tackled the kid into his seat and then yelled at the parents to keep him there. It was a thing of beauty.
yeah, kids are bad on planes, but their reactions are usually somewhat understandable (I probably wasn’t an angel when I flew to disneyworld at age 4 either). Cramped spaces, pressure changes, etc. I definitely have a bigger problem with the parents who don’t seem to understand that flight attendants are not babysitters.
But nothing beats getting seated next to a woman with senile dementia and no traveling companion, who kept insisting (to the point of physical violence) that she needed to get off the plane to meet her sister because it was 11pm. Nevermind that we were still 30,000 feet above the atlantic ocean. That was a fun trip.
I won’t defend the screeching, but when we fly with the kids (ages 8, 7, and 5), we often take late-night flights because then they sleep. So taking the red-eye isn’t necessarily a terrible idea. But my kids don’t screech when I help them with their seatbelts (nor do they count backwards in a loud voice, because not everyone thinks that’s cute).
Even as a parent of 2 (4 and 5 yrs old) – My biggest pet peeve is people who don’t take responsibility for their children’s behavior. We have flown recently and the biggest issue we had was giggling too loudly. But each girl had their own backpack of treats, books, and coloring stuff (that Color Wonder stuff is excellent for traveling). There’s no excuse for not addressing disruptive behavior.
“But nothing beats getting seated next to a woman with senile dementia and no traveling companion, who kept insisting (to the point of physical violence) that she needed to get off the plane to meet her sister because it was 11pm. Nevermind that we were still 30,000 feet above the atlantic ocean. That was a fun trip.”
Yes, but at least you didn’t have to worry that she would get off the plane. I was once on a train from Florida to New York, in a sleeper car, and there was an elderly and very confused woman in a nearby compartment who was traveling to NY but who was certain that each and every stop was her stop. Pretty much every time the train stopped, we would have to get out of our compartment and gently escort her back to hers, because she was determined to get off that train. (She also would not sleep, and refused to even take off her coat or go to the dining car to eat.) It was a long trip.
And while I would never try to directly deal with a kid who was actually crying — if a kid is old enough to speak and be spoken to, and is misbehaving in a way that is annoying to those nearby, I see nothing wrong with addressing the child directly (in a polite, respectful, but firm manner). A nice “Excuse me, please stop screaming. It’s very loud.” You risk confrontation with the parents (although your defense is that you are treating their child like you would treat any other human being). But a comment from a stranger is usually shocking enough to a child that they will instantly fall silent.
“Yes, but at least you didn’t have to worry that she would get off the plane. I was once on a train from Florida to New York, in a sleeper car, and there was an elderly and very confused woman in a nearby compartment who was traveling to NY but who was certain that each and every stop was her stop. Pretty much every time the train stopped, we would have to get out of our compartment and gently escort her back to hers, because she was determined to get off that train.”
Actually, I and the guy sitting across the aisle from this woman had to physically restrain her and continually buckle her back into her seat because she kept trying to bolt for the door. Then she started punching me when I wouldn’t “help” her get off the plane. At least “you’re” senile old lady wouldn’t have taken the entire train down with her if she had managed to succeed :)
Timely!
Once again, professional soccer saves the day!
My boyfriend and I were flying from New Zealand to SFO last winter. We were seated in the first row of Economy, which was great because of the additional leg room. Then the family showed up. Behind us were the mother and two girls- about 10 and 6, I would say – and the father sat next to us, with the baby. We were nervous. The two girls had a brief scuffle over who got the window seat and then… nothing. For twelve hours. I’d never seen this before, but they have these bassinets they can attach to the wall for really long flights, so the baby went in that, and she slept the whole time. I assumed the girls fell asleep too, but when I got up to go to the bathroom, I saw that they were awake and were reading and coloring, with headphones on. It was brilliant. And I say, if this couple can keep two kids and baby silent for a trans-Pacific flight, then other parents have no excuse.