While my heart goes out to the California homeowners whose house was damaged during a Mythbusters segment, I would be remiss if I did not use the incident as a teachable moment regarding the very real destruction that reality shows wreak every day, but which the shows’ various networks keep out of the news. Sure, you haven’t heard about any of these other mishaps, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t happen.* Wake up, sheeple!

1. Stacy and Clinton buried a contributor (What Not To Wear‘s word for its makeover subjects) in Crocs, suffocating her.
2. Though the Survivor opening credits identify contestants as “Americans,” since the show’s premiere, three contestants have been native Canadians.
3. That guy on My Strange Addiction who ate glass was fine, physically, but then on the way out of the therapist’s office, he tripped on a mat and broke his collarbone.
4. One time on Hoarders, they totally found a dead kitty! :(
   
5. Teen Mom baby Leah had her soul stolen by one of the production’s cameras.
6. Top Chef contestants tend to enter the competition with ten fingers each, but not all of them have left that way. (Ditto toes.)
7. America’s Supernanny put a kid in time-out and forgot about him for three days.
8. Property Virgins subjects always think it can’t happen to them, but many of them get pregnant in the very first house they tour.
9. One time on The Amazing Race, the last team to arrive at the Pit Stop didn’t get eliminated! :(
10. Every lady on the Bob Guiney season of The Bachelor got Legionnaire’s Disease.

I watch The Nate Berkus Show every day (for some reason), and obviously one of their go-to segments is the home makeover. Generally, the segments are introduced by a husband, who’s appealing to the show to make over a room for his wife. These guys produce these effusive testimonials about the women who are the proposed beneficiaries — that they’re loving and hardworking and “do everything for everyone else” and are so busy being living saints that they never consider the importance of letting their homes rise to meet them.

Sometimes, during these segments, I make myself laugh by imagining the copy Dave would submit to try to get me a room makeover from Nate.

“My wife Tara is a dick most of the time. She’d like a new bathroom, though.”

Watching the rather boring movie The Conspirator, barely co-starring Kevin Kline, reminded me of how much I loved this interview Kline did on The Colbert Report last year. If I do a lot of things right, I think, I could MAYBE be Kevin Kline when I grow up. (Sorry about the autoplay on the video. Please address your angry letters to Viacom.)

I know this is a couple of days old but I forgot to watch it until today and I love it.

Leah: Would you have sex with Kelsey Grammer for $4 million?
Me: Yes. …Well, wait: if I wasn’t already married.
Leah: What if Dave could also have sex with someone who’d pay him $4 million?
Me: Who?
Leah: Someone equally as gross as Kelsey Grammer?
Me: Who’s equally as gross as Kelsey Grammer?
Leah: Camille.
Me: Hm.
Leah: And if Dave was okay with it.
Me: This is disgusting even as a hypothetical!
Leah: But you would.
Me: …yeah.

For instance, Ricky Gervais is 100% dead right about the unprecedented stuntcasting in last night’s finale of The Office.

Watching The Office finale may remind some of the Chris Martin episode of Extras.

“It’s only Warren Buffett……..
What are you doing in a paper merchant’s in Scranton? It’s mental.”

If you’re going to jump a shark, jump a big one.

That said, Gervais remains wrong about writing his “blog” as one very long page of text so that it’s impossible to link to individual entries. To quote Annie Walker: “It’s the ’90s!”

12:20:08 PM Tara Ariano: BTW when the “Maxim” Hot 100 came out yesterday, I scanned the list just thinking which ones you’d approve of.
12:20:49 PM Will Edmondson: yeah I havent seen it
12:21:01 PM Tara Ariano: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (?) is #1.
12:21:17 PM Will Edmondson: bravo
12:21:20 PM Will Edmondson: I approve of that
12:26:03 PM Will Edmondson: who else is on this list
12:27:11 PM Tara Ariano: http://www.maxim.com/amg/GIRLS/Articles/2011+Hot+100
12:27:38 PM Will Edmondson: CAMERON DIAZ!?!?!?!
12:27:44 PM Tara Ariano: I knew you’d object to that one!

12:27:45 PM Will Edmondson: olivia munn is so played out too
12:27:55 PM Will Edmondson: I dont know who most of these people are
12:27:56 PM Tara Ariano: I can see a few in the top 10 you’d veto.
12:28:10 PM Will Edmondson: britney spears and anna kournikova shouldnt be there
12:28:14 PM Will Edmondson: taylor swift, no
12:28:22 PM Tara Ariano: I don’t get why people think Anna Kournikova is cute.
12:28:28 PM Will Edmondson: well she is
12:28:32 PM Tara Ariano: IS she?
12:28:39 PM Will Edmondson: but she also hasnt done anything relevant in 5 years12:28:44 PM Tara Ariano: Amanda Bynes?
12:28:46 PM Will Edmondson: lohan, fuck no
12:28:58 PM Will Edmondson: bynes is ok, but not worthy of being that high.
12:29:01 PM Tara Ariano: Avril Lavigne?
12:29:02 PM Will Edmondson: emma stone, no
12:29:04 PM Will Edmondson: nope
12:29:24 PM Will Edmondson: christina aguilera and whitney port, no
12:29:30 PM Will Edmondson: miley, no
12:30:12 PM Will Edmondson: JWOWW
12:30:15 PM Will Edmondson: HAHAHAHA
12:30:20 PM Will Edmondson: dude, fuck this list man
12:30:31 PM Tara Ariano: I love that they have to goose her with a popsicle fellatio photo, too.
12:32:05 PM Will Edmondson: but yeah this list has some major holes
12:32:21 PM Tara Ariano: OH SHIT
12:32:25 PM Tara Ariano: THAT’S WHAT HE SAID