While my heart goes out to the California homeowners whose house was damaged during a Mythbusters segment, I would be remiss if I did not use the incident as a teachable moment regarding the very real destruction that reality shows wreak every day, but which the shows’ various networks keep out of the news. Sure, you haven’t heard about any of these other mishaps, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t happen.* Wake up, sheeple!

1. Stacy and Clinton buried a contributor (What Not To Wear‘s word for its makeover subjects) in Crocs, suffocating her.
2. Though the Survivor opening credits identify contestants as “Americans,” since the show’s premiere, three contestants have been native Canadians.
3. That guy on My Strange Addiction who ate glass was fine, physically, but then on the way out of the therapist’s office, he tripped on a mat and broke his collarbone.
4. One time on Hoarders, they totally found a dead kitty! :(
   
5. Teen Mom baby Leah had her soul stolen by one of the production’s cameras.
6. Top Chef contestants tend to enter the competition with ten fingers each, but not all of them have left that way. (Ditto toes.)
7. America’s Supernanny put a kid in time-out and forgot about him for three days.
8. Property Virgins subjects always think it can’t happen to them, but many of them get pregnant in the very first house they tour.
9. One time on The Amazing Race, the last team to arrive at the Pit Stop didn’t get eliminated! :(
10. Every lady on the Bob Guiney season of The Bachelor got Legionnaire’s Disease.

If you expect people upstairs, in the locker rooms, and outside on the sidewalk to know how you feel about the latest stock market news, you are going to have to huff and sigh just a tiny bit louder.

In my last dream before I woke up this morning, Anthony Weiner had decided to try to burnish his image by volunteering at my local branch of the public library. It seems like that would be a good idea, but there were a few problems.

First, the put-upon, disgusted attitude that was so hot when I’d see it in videos of Weiner sighing his way through House debates with dumb Republicans was a lot less attractive when he was directing it at old men looking for large-print Tom Clancys.

Also, Weiner was still hitting on virtually every female patron.

Oh, and finally, Weiner seemed to be evolving into some kind of man/lizard hybrid. Like, he was in the usual semi-off-duty politician costume of dress shirt (no tie) and chinos, but he couldn’t wear shoes because of his giant two-toed lizard feet. Plus he had a forked tongue and a tail.

So…I thought I didn’t really care about this story, but my subconscious has let me know I was wrong.

Well, should he? Honestly, this weekend I didn’t want Dave to go any further than the kitchen, unless it was to go to the store and bring me back snacks. And all I did was fall on some ice. If I ever got shot I would probably handcuff him to me.

Wrong:

Right:

If Jon Stewart, as he keeps claiming, really and truly wants to disclaim any responsibility his show may have beyond making viewers laugh, he needs to quit it with the pompous lectures already.

Oh, Daily Mail. “Gwyneth Paltrow looks like hell, right? And so can you!”

I don’t claim to know everything about pop culture writing, but damn, Entertainment Weekly, if you honestly think the premise of your one-column sidebar story is so obscure and complicated that you need to establish it four times, maybe it’s not worth doing? (Also: we got it the first time.)

He means the Wachowskis. I already knew how their name is spelled because I’m good at my job, but the time it took me to Google it and confirm was literally 0.23 seconds. But I mean, in fairness to Perez, I guess they are kind of obscure? Like, they only created one of the best sci-fi movies of all time (and its two horrible sequels).

Finally it can be told: I have a new job! My employers were quoted on Variety.com today, but in case you can’t get behind the paywall, here’s the gist. A while ago, Yahoo! hired Courtney Reimer and Mark Lisanti to create a suite of entertainment blogs, and Courtney and Mark went out and hired some seriously amazing people to write them (and also me). You may have already read earlier this week that Will Leitch is going to be running the movie blog with Tim Grierson. Also on board are Erin Carlson and Josh Duboff (Celebrities), and Caryn Ganz and Daniel Kreps (Music). Running the TV blog, it’s Lindsay Robertson…and me! (Probably you already guessed that part.)

Without getting super-sappy (impossible), this is already one of my most fun jobs ever. The whole staff is humblingly great, but getting to work closely with Lindsay — whom I’ve admired since she was at Videogum, and who I once tried to hire away for Sling.com — is a delight and a thrill every day. In addition to being a tremendous writer, she’s hilarious and a generous collaborator and knows the internet back to front. This sweet, lovely post she wrote today (now that we can “come out” as colleagues) gives a good sense of the professional love affair we’ve been having for the past couple of months. Subscribe to her blog and follow her on Twitter, though you probably already have done both.

I realize that this is the kind of effusion you normally don’t see except when celebrity couples gas on about how great their marriage is, the day before they announce their divorce. But this is already a great job — I feel so lucky to be here! When we actually have a blog people can read, it’s going to be so much better that I won’t even know what to do with myself.