(Please consider the headline a Wonkette homage/ripoff.)
Today started out so promisingly and then, somewhere around 4:30 or so, it took a turn for the corrupt, dirty, and hilarious.
Link The First: LouisvilleFreeFace.com. Ladies, you know how it is when a Louisville gentleman of leisure — who goes by the names “George, Vampire Lord, or God” — is offering to perform cunnilingus on you for free, and it just seems like there has to be a catch? There is. Still, in these troubled times, when so many of us are cutting “luxuries” from our monthly budgets, it’s hard to quibble with Free Face. (Thanks a lot, Buzzfeed.)
Link The Second: Woman Gets Entire Can Of Hairspray Lodged Up Her Butt. Tracie deserves a raise for filing that one under “Product Placement.” (Question: why did this woman waive doctor/patient confidentiality not only to allow this event to be published, but include her full name?)
Link The Third: This:
And then I thought it was probably time to go home.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Excellent work choreographing the geese in Link the 3rd. Reminds me of some Tom Green shit.
My favorite “I have no idea how it got in there” story from med school was about a dude who showed up in the ER with a complaint of pissing these strange scaly things. X-rays showed a (now) dead baby garter snake in his bladder.
Wow.
I think I need to go wash my computer now.
Meanwhile, cunniladies? You will not make it out of FreeFace alive.
I’m just saying.