The Blog Challenge: #1*

The joy of every Life Day is the return to Kashyyyk of seldom-seen relatives — but for Chewbacca, when it came to his wife Malla’s step-uncle, W.C. Fields, that was less a joy than the bane of the holiday season. “Bill,” as he was known to the family, was a gambler, a boor, and a world-class drunk. And he didn’t even speak or understand Shyriiwook! In a nutshell? Not a great houseguest.

Unfortunately, Bill was family, so Chewbacca tried to put on a friendly front this year when he appeared at the treehouse door for another Life Day visit. Trying to ignore the fug of cigar smoke and defeat that hung about him — so thick it was practically visible — Chewbacca motioned for Bill to come in, making a mental note to hide his father Itchy’s galactic credits for the duration of Bill’s stay so that Itchy didn’t lose them all again in a game of Tatooine Hold ‘Em.

Waiting presumptively for Chewbacca to carry in his suitcases, Bill looked appraisingly around the living room, taking in the festive Life Day garlands Malla had painstakingly crafted and hung along the walls, and the smell of minced quillrat pie baking in the oven; as always, his expression soured: “On the whole, I’d rather be in Philadelphia.”

Chewbacca might not have understood English, but he was sensitive enough to expression and intonation to recognize a dis. And suddenly, he’d had enough. Never mind that it was Life Day; never mind that Malla kept trying to convince him that Bill was part of their Honor Family. This was a man without honor, and his attitude would poison their home no longer. With one clout of his mighty paw, Chewbacca knocked Bill out the window and plummeting through the branches to his death. Leaning out to watch Bill’s limbs flailing wildly as he sank through the clouds, Chewbacca called down to him, “Grrarrgh whaaaaargh eeeeeengh!” If Bill had ever bothered to learn Shyriiwook, he would have been able to interpret the sounds: “Let the Wookiee win!”

* The Blog Challenge, after we saw the window display above, was for me to write three paragraphs of fanfic involving W.C. Fields and Chewbacca. As you see, I exceeded the assignment.